Finally, I am almost finished with a book that will have taken me 2 months to read. Titan is about John D. Rockefeller from start to finish. It’s his biography, and no detail of John Senior’s life escapes it. 675 pages long, it reads more like a textbook than a nightly read. At this point, some of you may notice the irony of me choosing to read textbooks after college, but I assure you that there was a good reason I didn’t read them before. They suck. I spent the past two months reading this monstrosity because the company I interned at over the summer gave out a recommended reading list, and I felt obligated to at least get through one of them as tribute to them hiring me. Unfortunately, I chose the apparent mac daddy of the Marwood book assortment, the German shepherd over the weiner dog, the Yao Ming instead of the Earl Boykins, Stephen Hawking not Carrot Top. I’m almost positive the book title refers to Rockefeller’s stature in society, but it could just be warning the potential reader of its shear length, complexity and dullness.
The book is fine, I still have 40 pages left, 43 to be exact. But who’s counting. As I approach the finish, I’m wondering what in God’s name prompted me to finish. Not only did I have to extend my library loan for another 4 weeks, but I had to LIE about why. You see, I toyed with the idea of returning Satan’s light reading to the Sacramento Public Library before heading to Alpaugh about 200 pages short of the end. I finally sucked it up, called the main branch, admitted that I had “accidentally” brought one of their books to downstate Cali, and inquired how to send it back. The friendly voice on the other end said that he could extend the return date and I could mail it back to the main branch. Hallelujah!
Anywho, why did I feel the need to finish Hitler’s right-hand man? First off, there’s the sense of accomplishment that would eventually come with its slaying. Second, I couldn’t let it win. Just call it competitive reading. Lastly, I felt that I was advancing my vocabulary, religiously looking up words I hadn’t seen before. Often, I’d look them up 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 12 times before I’d get it. Come to think of it, I don’t think I actually learned any new words that I could use on a day to day basis. Now I just say them randomly in regular sentences (incorrectly if you couldn’t guess), and pray that those listening don’t know what it means. Of course, I did that before I read the Holy Grail, but now the words have just become more obscure.
I don’t read because I like reading. I absolutely hate reading. But it has to be good for me somehow right? I’ve realized lately how much I stutter while speaking, and wonder if it’s because I didn’t read enough as a kid. Maybe reading increases your ability to create coherent sentences in your brain, man. Makes sense right? I don’t know, but while I “know” reading’s good for you, I’ma keep doing it, no matter how much loathe it. Just not the The 8th Wonder of the World.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lazy Sunday
I spent this past Sunday at our pad with 18 year-old Vermont boy, relaxing to fresh beats and playing video games while the rest of the crew journeyed to Panera for a day of interneting and food shopping. I wasn’t ready to leave the sheltered life of no internet quite yet, so I decided to spend some time with the immature, habitual marijuana smoking, dowdy young whipper snapper on our team. It brought back vivid images of me fresh out of high school and entering college. First off: Video games. I remember a time when I played Madden 2005 seasons all the way through, padding my favorite players stats so they’d be better next year, drafting prospects after the season ended and practicing plays to use in games. I cared so much about these results (I’ve always had a rabid obsession with video games.) On this lazy Sunday, me and Vermont played Gauntlet: Dark Legacy, a game in which you try to kill all the enemies and reach the end of a level so that you may move on to the next level, kill more enemies, and repeat until boredom sets in. And bored I got. Vermont, however, remained engrossed in the game for about 3 hours. I played for a while, went for a run, started a load of laundry, did some dishes, and came back and played some more before he finished up. The game felt petty, irrelevant, a sort of time filler while I gathered motivation to be productive. For Vermont, however, the game was his world. The level he reached measured how successful or productive his day was. The contrast humored me, before I realized how similar I was at that age. Its little realizations like these that I wanted from this program. I predicted correctly that it would force my own maturity, but it has also allowed me to view it on my own.
Later on that day Vermont told me that he thought he would learn a lot from me over the coming months. As vague as that statement is, it might be the most respectful thing anyone has said to me. That’s the thing about Vermont: He’s completely ignorant, combative, totally useless most of the time and loves video games, but there’s some honest naivety that forces you to make the effort to dumb things down for him. This is the first time I’ve felt like a mentor to someone. So, to respond to his admonition, I tried to think of something deep and profound, but uttered something more along the lines of “yea, that’ll be sick.” Not always the quickest on my feet, I feel now like I have a little protégé to take care of and teach the ways of the elder folk. Nice.
Later on that day Vermont told me that he thought he would learn a lot from me over the coming months. As vague as that statement is, it might be the most respectful thing anyone has said to me. That’s the thing about Vermont: He’s completely ignorant, combative, totally useless most of the time and loves video games, but there’s some honest naivety that forces you to make the effort to dumb things down for him. This is the first time I’ve felt like a mentor to someone. So, to respond to his admonition, I tried to think of something deep and profound, but uttered something more along the lines of “yea, that’ll be sick.” Not always the quickest on my feet, I feel now like I have a little protégé to take care of and teach the ways of the elder folk. Nice.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
First Days In Alpaugh
The situation gets more and more tense. Small quips seem ready to blow up into full on verbal brawls, a small raincloud slowly building up to a deluge. Sarcasm dribbles from our mouths like it would from a rabid dog’s mouth. A long run signifies anger at someone. But who? I tippy toe around the cracks, praying that my feathery steps will not break the ice. Pssssst Dan. You there? I have something to tell you. IT HAS ONLY BEEN 5 DAYS! WE’RE FUCKED!!!!!!!
Alpaugh’s rough. I see the same faces every day of my life, the drowsy faces, the spritely faces, the passive faces. I see them in the morning, during work, at lunch, after lunch, even farther after lunch, in the van, out the van, brushing teeth, eating beef. Body odor, lurching motor. I see these faces left and right, up and down, even at night. Sometimes I wish they would go away, but know that they are here to stay. Dimples, sideburns, freshly shaved legs. Making morning breakfast: Sausage and fresh eggs. I see these faces everywhere, down the hall and in fresh air. I don’t know how to end this jingle, hopefully it’s not my first hit single. (Think Dr. Seuss.)
Anyways, I got that off my chest. The moral of the story is this living situation is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I’m the low key one; I can only imagine how everyone else is feeling. Maybe it’s just a hump to get over, I sincerely hope so. Today we split up work. Half worked at the Atwell Island Park, planting a specific type of grass native to the area along the banks of a marsh. The other half went to the World Agricultural Exposition in Visalia (about 100,000 people) and helped the Alpaugh Historical Society make Tri Tip steak sandwiches to sell. I did the latter. Most delicious steak sandwich I’ve ever eaten at the most rural, simple event I’ve ever attended. Here’s the idea (as if ‘we’ were farmers): We farm. We want to show you farm stuff. Come look at our farm stuff. Admire our monstrous machines. Want one? No? Ok, well I’ll tell you about each one and how it works, and a story to go along with it. I think I actually met a legitimate cowboy, along with about 6,000 wannabes. Wearing our Americorps issued grey hoodies and tan cargo pants, we stood out sorely against the backdrop of tucked in plaid shirts, tightish blue jeans, boots and cowboy hats. There was plenty of time to wander around. It was fun as hell.
Alpaugh’s rough. I see the same faces every day of my life, the drowsy faces, the spritely faces, the passive faces. I see them in the morning, during work, at lunch, after lunch, even farther after lunch, in the van, out the van, brushing teeth, eating beef. Body odor, lurching motor. I see these faces left and right, up and down, even at night. Sometimes I wish they would go away, but know that they are here to stay. Dimples, sideburns, freshly shaved legs. Making morning breakfast: Sausage and fresh eggs. I see these faces everywhere, down the hall and in fresh air. I don’t know how to end this jingle, hopefully it’s not my first hit single. (Think Dr. Seuss.)
Anyways, I got that off my chest. The moral of the story is this living situation is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I’m the low key one; I can only imagine how everyone else is feeling. Maybe it’s just a hump to get over, I sincerely hope so. Today we split up work. Half worked at the Atwell Island Park, planting a specific type of grass native to the area along the banks of a marsh. The other half went to the World Agricultural Exposition in Visalia (about 100,000 people) and helped the Alpaugh Historical Society make Tri Tip steak sandwiches to sell. I did the latter. Most delicious steak sandwich I’ve ever eaten at the most rural, simple event I’ve ever attended. Here’s the idea (as if ‘we’ were farmers): We farm. We want to show you farm stuff. Come look at our farm stuff. Admire our monstrous machines. Want one? No? Ok, well I’ll tell you about each one and how it works, and a story to go along with it. I think I actually met a legitimate cowboy, along with about 6,000 wannabes. Wearing our Americorps issued grey hoodies and tan cargo pants, we stood out sorely against the backdrop of tucked in plaid shirts, tightish blue jeans, boots and cowboy hats. There was plenty of time to wander around. It was fun as hell.
Alpaugh Arrival
We arrived at Alpaugh, CA at approximately 1:52:40 PM on Friday, February 5th, but it feels like we showed up 3 weeks ago. The idea behind leaving on Friday was that we could have a weekend to orient ourselves and get to know the neighborhood. It didn’t take long. The town sign of Alpaugh read 608 residents (down from the previously mentioned total.) Coming from the New Lebanon metropolis, I thought that I would have a feeling for small towns. I was way off.
Alpaugh is, by first impressions, the scariest place I have ever been to (rivaled only by the end of the Blue Metro line in Budapest.) It’s an eerie town placed in the middle of endless farmlands. The first thing to see is the shanties that house the residents, broken down trailer homes with piles of junk strewn about the front yards. There is one, I repeat, one intersection in Alpaugh, a 4-way stop sign smack dab in the middle. On one corner is the Alpaugh grocery, a fairly sizable building with lovely potential. Its faded name on the side of the building, peeling paint, and unpaved parking area, however, lay claim to its truly dilapidated state. The K-12 school is kitty corner to the grocery store. The Alpaugh Unified School District’s only school lies on an expansive plot of land relative to the size of Alpaugh itself, but there’s something eerie about it, too. The fields are all rough and patchy. Weeds spurt out of the sides of the cement track that surrounds the overgrown football field. I don’t know how many kids attend the school, but I know that the classes are doubled and tripled up. For example, one classroom may serve as 4th, 5th and 6th grade. Again, the paint is faded. I think that’s what makes the place so eerie, everything looks like it was painted on 2 decades ago and not been touched since. Nothing is fresh.
Stray dogs are the greatest indicator that Alpaugh is an actual ghost town. On our first drive in we passed a platoon of stray dogs rambling around the center of town (the 4-way stop). Turning down our road we encountered a dead beagle lying right along the side of the road, and before we could finish displaying our horror at this atrocity, the side of the slowly moving van was attacked by some kind of collie. We sped by it of course, but that first impression left its mark. Alpaugh has a dog issues. We now take care of one pup we named Maggie, a little weiner dog that adopted our back porch. 2 more retriever type dogs come and go, but we give them food when they are here.
The house itself is magnificent relative to what I assumed all my dwellings would be. Walking in the backdoor (which is really the main entrance but still gets relegated to backdoor status), there is a spacious living room with wood flooring that is separated from the tile floor kitchen by a tile L-shaped countertop. Actually, screw this it’s not worth trying to explain how the house looks. But I’m in an average sized bedroom with 2 bunk beds sleeping alongside two other guys. Just the way I like it. The kitchen is meant for a king. There is a projector that we can connect to a computer, enabling DVD watching and video game playing. No cell service or internet though. Can’t have it all. So don’t try and text me, I won’t answer (sometimes if the wind blows right I’ll get a bar.)
Alpaugh is, by first impressions, the scariest place I have ever been to (rivaled only by the end of the Blue Metro line in Budapest.) It’s an eerie town placed in the middle of endless farmlands. The first thing to see is the shanties that house the residents, broken down trailer homes with piles of junk strewn about the front yards. There is one, I repeat, one intersection in Alpaugh, a 4-way stop sign smack dab in the middle. On one corner is the Alpaugh grocery, a fairly sizable building with lovely potential. Its faded name on the side of the building, peeling paint, and unpaved parking area, however, lay claim to its truly dilapidated state. The K-12 school is kitty corner to the grocery store. The Alpaugh Unified School District’s only school lies on an expansive plot of land relative to the size of Alpaugh itself, but there’s something eerie about it, too. The fields are all rough and patchy. Weeds spurt out of the sides of the cement track that surrounds the overgrown football field. I don’t know how many kids attend the school, but I know that the classes are doubled and tripled up. For example, one classroom may serve as 4th, 5th and 6th grade. Again, the paint is faded. I think that’s what makes the place so eerie, everything looks like it was painted on 2 decades ago and not been touched since. Nothing is fresh.
Stray dogs are the greatest indicator that Alpaugh is an actual ghost town. On our first drive in we passed a platoon of stray dogs rambling around the center of town (the 4-way stop). Turning down our road we encountered a dead beagle lying right along the side of the road, and before we could finish displaying our horror at this atrocity, the side of the slowly moving van was attacked by some kind of collie. We sped by it of course, but that first impression left its mark. Alpaugh has a dog issues. We now take care of one pup we named Maggie, a little weiner dog that adopted our back porch. 2 more retriever type dogs come and go, but we give them food when they are here.
The house itself is magnificent relative to what I assumed all my dwellings would be. Walking in the backdoor (which is really the main entrance but still gets relegated to backdoor status), there is a spacious living room with wood flooring that is separated from the tile floor kitchen by a tile L-shaped countertop. Actually, screw this it’s not worth trying to explain how the house looks. But I’m in an average sized bedroom with 2 bunk beds sleeping alongside two other guys. Just the way I like it. The kitchen is meant for a king. There is a projector that we can connect to a computer, enabling DVD watching and video game playing. No cell service or internet though. Can’t have it all. So don’t try and text me, I won’t answer (sometimes if the wind blows right I’ll get a bar.)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
No Dice
This week, all teams stationed in the Pacific region came back to McClellan Park's campus (9 teams in Louisiana did not) to debrief. A whole slew of Corps Members moved back to the previously unoccupied 3rd floor. My primal instincts kicked in and I got very territorial. To protect my turf, I shot angry glares at the friendly kids up and down the hall who tried to actually meet me and become acquaintances. How dare they disturb the peace and quiet I had become accustomed to (almost dependent upon) for the past 2 months. How dare they crowd into their rooms and chat as if they owned the floor when, in fact, I was it's rightful owner. Kids these days. No respect.
Along with these boisterious folks came my long lost roommate. He's from Wisconsin, automatically giving him a laid back nature and pearly white skin. The irony of our roommateship is that he will begin dentist school in the fall, while I am currently getting my teeth knocked out on a regular basis. We get along great. He's clean, I'm sloppy. But he's from Wisconsin, and thus easily manipulated into consistently believing that I will clean the room the following day. Cash, money........
This week has been incredibly laid back. All teams are back so that they can debrief their unit leaders on the work they did while away (or in our case, still here.) Let me briefly brief you on debriefs. Conducted via a 20 minute presentation, the debrief is not difficult. 10 team members (we now have 9), 2 minutes each. It's very structured, each person talks about a different part of our last project. No matter what we say (I'm pretty sure we could have a tag-team wrestling match instead of lecture and be fine), the unit leaders and other Americorps NCCC office workers say that they think "we'll do a great job" and "good luck getting things done". There's no grade. There's no incentive to do a good job, it just has to get done. I'm positive the office personnel that listen to the debriefs think we spend hours upon hours of brain storming and practicing the presentation. Some teams may do this, but mine sticks to a strict only-work-on-the-debrief-1-hour-prior-to-presenting rule. One compliment we received went something like, "...it's obvious you spent a lot of time rehearsing this presentation, and it showed!" Then again, they may just be so numbed from listening to about 20 debriefs that they have morphed into complimenting machines. It's difficult to say.
As an aside, my team position is POL, or Project Outreach Liaison. My job is to set up team community service opportunities outside of our daily duties (we need 80 hours to complete Americorps NCCC) and talk to organizations about our program and determine ones that could benefit from our help. The latter part of my position seems to be the most troublesome because it involves the dreaded cold-calling, which isn't SO bad, except that there's no force requiring me to actually do anything. It's difficult to take the intitiative without a boss reviewing your performance. It's college all over again. Put it off. Put it off. Date your notebook and write a heading for the notes you will take. Put it off. Check the organizations website again. Put it off. Before you know it you haven't done anything, exactly what happened to me this time around. I'm not worried about my lack of drive, but the way I've convinced myself that it doesn't really matter worries me some. But they have 3 professionals in the next building working on the same things, so why should I worry about it? I do try and tell any organization that I work with (whether its independently or at my project) about Americorps NCCC, how it could benefit them, etc. Isn't that enough?
Along with these boisterious folks came my long lost roommate. He's from Wisconsin, automatically giving him a laid back nature and pearly white skin. The irony of our roommateship is that he will begin dentist school in the fall, while I am currently getting my teeth knocked out on a regular basis. We get along great. He's clean, I'm sloppy. But he's from Wisconsin, and thus easily manipulated into consistently believing that I will clean the room the following day. Cash, money........
This week has been incredibly laid back. All teams are back so that they can debrief their unit leaders on the work they did while away (or in our case, still here.) Let me briefly brief you on debriefs. Conducted via a 20 minute presentation, the debrief is not difficult. 10 team members (we now have 9), 2 minutes each. It's very structured, each person talks about a different part of our last project. No matter what we say (I'm pretty sure we could have a tag-team wrestling match instead of lecture and be fine), the unit leaders and other Americorps NCCC office workers say that they think "we'll do a great job" and "good luck getting things done". There's no grade. There's no incentive to do a good job, it just has to get done. I'm positive the office personnel that listen to the debriefs think we spend hours upon hours of brain storming and practicing the presentation. Some teams may do this, but mine sticks to a strict only-work-on-the-debrief-1-hour-prior-to-presenting rule. One compliment we received went something like, "...it's obvious you spent a lot of time rehearsing this presentation, and it showed!" Then again, they may just be so numbed from listening to about 20 debriefs that they have morphed into complimenting machines. It's difficult to say.
As an aside, my team position is POL, or Project Outreach Liaison. My job is to set up team community service opportunities outside of our daily duties (we need 80 hours to complete Americorps NCCC) and talk to organizations about our program and determine ones that could benefit from our help. The latter part of my position seems to be the most troublesome because it involves the dreaded cold-calling, which isn't SO bad, except that there's no force requiring me to actually do anything. It's difficult to take the intitiative without a boss reviewing your performance. It's college all over again. Put it off. Put it off. Date your notebook and write a heading for the notes you will take. Put it off. Check the organizations website again. Put it off. Before you know it you haven't done anything, exactly what happened to me this time around. I'm not worried about my lack of drive, but the way I've convinced myself that it doesn't really matter worries me some. But they have 3 professionals in the next building working on the same things, so why should I worry about it? I do try and tell any organization that I work with (whether its independently or at my project) about Americorps NCCC, how it could benefit them, etc. Isn't that enough?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Green 6 Revisited
Since who my teammates are is such an important factor of my life, I want to remember how I thought of them during each different project. Here they are:
I will be calling them all by their city or general region...
Nashville girl went home for good yesterday. She was reclusive, but fun when she came out of her shell. She had a great personality with some southern charm that you couldn't help but smile at. Although primarily taciturn, she spoke with animation when she felt it necessary. There was a general feeling around the team this week that something was wrong with her and we needed to figure out what it was. She announced on her going away dinner that she was bipolar and really struggled with Americorps rigidity. She only got along with a couple people, but I'm very sad to see her go. We had a relationship in which I acted like an idiot and she tried to suppress a grin, ignored my actions or shook her head at them. It was wholly impersonal but I liked it. I think she did too. It feels like we didn't try hard enough to get her in the fold, although that's just not true. Her sarcasm and wit will be sorely missed.
Central Virginia boy is my best friend here. College graduate. We have strong similarities and strong differences. Nothing's in the middle. On one hand, he is a very religious protestant, doesn't drink, no sex til marriage, and a stout republican. On the other, he's a football fanatic, loves to pal around, and is extremely easygoing. Our relationship is mostly playful, but I know I can depend on him for anything. I hope he feels the same about me. He's really the only "guy" outlet I've got on the team, and losing him would really hurt. He is currently in the final 20 for a very prestigious clinical psychology internship at the university of virginia that starts in April, so if he gets that he'd leave the program. It seems pretty assured that he'll get it. Frustrates me. I didn't think there would be a high rate of turnover in this program.
Vermont boy is a character. 19 years old. He's pretty normal, played sports in high school, has a girlfriend back home. But he's immature to a point that I really don't know what to say to him. Now that I think about it, I've never had a legitimate conversation with him except when we run together. He just doesn't think that critically about things. I'm not sure why he came here, I assume I'll find that out eventually. We get along fine, there's just not that much to work with.
Boston girl is easily my favorite of the girls. College graduate. She's quiet, but in a way in which you can tell she's processing your words. She's thoughtful, kinda socially awkward in a really cute way (she's also 5' tall which is probably what makes it cute), and drinks way too much coffee per day. She's very artsy, likes to color and has a slideshow of emo internet pictures as her screen saver. She's always great to have around because she adds constant positivity to any outing.
Orlando girl is sassy and dramatic. She's unpredictable and lashes out when not in a good mood. She starts or is fully involved in, any imbroglios amongst the team. The other night at the local bar she attacked one of the local firefighter trainees, scratching his arm (granted she was provoked, but still). There's some serious rage within her that is scary, but mostly harmless. She's one of those boyfriend girls, the ones that you cannot talk to without them mentioning him. He is serving in the Air Force and is in Monterrey, about 2.5 hours from Sac. She leaves some weekends to see him. Her attitude gets in the way sometimes, but on the majority she's alright. Everyone on the team has seen her volatility, and we stay clear when she's not happy.
Springfield, Illinois girl is an odd one. College Graduate. She's very garrulous, having befriended many of the teachers at Larchmont, attending their poker nights and other get togethers. She's odd because she is obsessive with working out, and she signed up at the local gym for spin classes and whatever else she does there. I think she used to box when she was younger. She's the daughter of a priest, but a rebel one. I'm positive she has serious demons inside of her, and although it's fairly apparent what they are (questioning her religion), I'd like her to outright say them some day. She has this forceful manner of getting her way. It's as if at some point in her life she told herself "fuck what other people say", like she had so many influences she couldnt' keep track of them, rebelled against them, and resorted to trusting only herself. But it all seems like a facade. She's very likable, but her need to control a conversation with brute force is a huge turn off. Not my favorite person on the team, but we get along fine. She loves sports, as do I. She's a team player. I'm struggling to explain her, hopefully the next time I try it will be a little more clear.
Cincinnati girl was mostly a mystery to me until recently. She's 18 and goes out a lot with friends. She smokes cigarettes (about 10 a day) but keeps saying she wants to quit. I think she has a little bit of an alcohol issue, she thinks she drinks too much (and she probaly does for her age.) She's so friendly, always laughing and smiling. Her weakness comes from a lack of motivation and organization, which makes her untrustworthy. Good-hearted but lazy. Weren't we all at 18?
Denver via Long Beach girl is the most naive, socially and emotionally immature person on team. She is also 18. There's this airy nature about her, you have to ask her a question at least twice before she realizes you're talking to her. Sheltered her whole life, she can't cook or clean (she had maids to do that growing up.) Incredibly book smart, she is so unaware of her surroundings that it's impossible to know if she understands any implicit meanings involving the subject at hand. You can't hint at anythign with her. It has to be blunt and to the point, at which point she'll give you a blank stare and ask you to repeat it. She loves to sing broadway tunes or any radio song, which pisses about 50% of the team off. She doesn't pick up on any social cues, like body language or intonation. It's almost comical, but is really getting under some peoples skins. happy, smiling, bouncy.
I will be calling them all by their city or general region...
Nashville girl went home for good yesterday. She was reclusive, but fun when she came out of her shell. She had a great personality with some southern charm that you couldn't help but smile at. Although primarily taciturn, she spoke with animation when she felt it necessary. There was a general feeling around the team this week that something was wrong with her and we needed to figure out what it was. She announced on her going away dinner that she was bipolar and really struggled with Americorps rigidity. She only got along with a couple people, but I'm very sad to see her go. We had a relationship in which I acted like an idiot and she tried to suppress a grin, ignored my actions or shook her head at them. It was wholly impersonal but I liked it. I think she did too. It feels like we didn't try hard enough to get her in the fold, although that's just not true. Her sarcasm and wit will be sorely missed.
Central Virginia boy is my best friend here. College graduate. We have strong similarities and strong differences. Nothing's in the middle. On one hand, he is a very religious protestant, doesn't drink, no sex til marriage, and a stout republican. On the other, he's a football fanatic, loves to pal around, and is extremely easygoing. Our relationship is mostly playful, but I know I can depend on him for anything. I hope he feels the same about me. He's really the only "guy" outlet I've got on the team, and losing him would really hurt. He is currently in the final 20 for a very prestigious clinical psychology internship at the university of virginia that starts in April, so if he gets that he'd leave the program. It seems pretty assured that he'll get it. Frustrates me. I didn't think there would be a high rate of turnover in this program.
Vermont boy is a character. 19 years old. He's pretty normal, played sports in high school, has a girlfriend back home. But he's immature to a point that I really don't know what to say to him. Now that I think about it, I've never had a legitimate conversation with him except when we run together. He just doesn't think that critically about things. I'm not sure why he came here, I assume I'll find that out eventually. We get along fine, there's just not that much to work with.
Boston girl is easily my favorite of the girls. College graduate. She's quiet, but in a way in which you can tell she's processing your words. She's thoughtful, kinda socially awkward in a really cute way (she's also 5' tall which is probably what makes it cute), and drinks way too much coffee per day. She's very artsy, likes to color and has a slideshow of emo internet pictures as her screen saver. She's always great to have around because she adds constant positivity to any outing.
Orlando girl is sassy and dramatic. She's unpredictable and lashes out when not in a good mood. She starts or is fully involved in, any imbroglios amongst the team. The other night at the local bar she attacked one of the local firefighter trainees, scratching his arm (granted she was provoked, but still). There's some serious rage within her that is scary, but mostly harmless. She's one of those boyfriend girls, the ones that you cannot talk to without them mentioning him. He is serving in the Air Force and is in Monterrey, about 2.5 hours from Sac. She leaves some weekends to see him. Her attitude gets in the way sometimes, but on the majority she's alright. Everyone on the team has seen her volatility, and we stay clear when she's not happy.
Springfield, Illinois girl is an odd one. College Graduate. She's very garrulous, having befriended many of the teachers at Larchmont, attending their poker nights and other get togethers. She's odd because she is obsessive with working out, and she signed up at the local gym for spin classes and whatever else she does there. I think she used to box when she was younger. She's the daughter of a priest, but a rebel one. I'm positive she has serious demons inside of her, and although it's fairly apparent what they are (questioning her religion), I'd like her to outright say them some day. She has this forceful manner of getting her way. It's as if at some point in her life she told herself "fuck what other people say", like she had so many influences she couldnt' keep track of them, rebelled against them, and resorted to trusting only herself. But it all seems like a facade. She's very likable, but her need to control a conversation with brute force is a huge turn off. Not my favorite person on the team, but we get along fine. She loves sports, as do I. She's a team player. I'm struggling to explain her, hopefully the next time I try it will be a little more clear.
Cincinnati girl was mostly a mystery to me until recently. She's 18 and goes out a lot with friends. She smokes cigarettes (about 10 a day) but keeps saying she wants to quit. I think she has a little bit of an alcohol issue, she thinks she drinks too much (and she probaly does for her age.) She's so friendly, always laughing and smiling. Her weakness comes from a lack of motivation and organization, which makes her untrustworthy. Good-hearted but lazy. Weren't we all at 18?
Denver via Long Beach girl is the most naive, socially and emotionally immature person on team. She is also 18. There's this airy nature about her, you have to ask her a question at least twice before she realizes you're talking to her. Sheltered her whole life, she can't cook or clean (she had maids to do that growing up.) Incredibly book smart, she is so unaware of her surroundings that it's impossible to know if she understands any implicit meanings involving the subject at hand. You can't hint at anythign with her. It has to be blunt and to the point, at which point she'll give you a blank stare and ask you to repeat it. She loves to sing broadway tunes or any radio song, which pisses about 50% of the team off. She doesn't pick up on any social cues, like body language or intonation. It's almost comical, but is really getting under some peoples skins. happy, smiling, bouncy.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Back to the Grind
It seems I have a propensity to stop blogging for weeks at a time. It's just procrastination. I've always been the type to push off doing something until I can't really wait any longer. This case is different, becaus although I do feel obligated to write something here, I also want to do it. I've been out of touch with this white screen and black Courier New font for too long. Time to let 'er rip.
Let me see, let me see... I'm in Sacramento. I assist teachers with daily duties at an Elementary School called Larchmont. The kids are in bad socioeconomic situations. Ohhh here we go. So apparently there's a "rainy season" in Sactown that goes from late december to late feberuary. Never having experienced a "rainy season" I wasn't totally sure what to expect. here it is: It's between 30-50 degrees every day and it rains. Every day. More accurately, it drizzles every day. We rarely actually get any full-fledged rain (maybe at night, I think I hear rain drops... hard to tell). So every time you go outside without a hat or hoodie you get about 1 drop on the bridge of your nose or forehead every 30 seconds. It's like Chinese water torture. More over, recesses are cancelled at Larchmont, inevitably leading to...
YAHHHHHHHAYAYAYAYHAFHOWEQOEFNEPCONUQAGAYHAYAYAYAAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYAYAYAYAYA
This is the sound that kids make when forced indoors with no physical activity for weeks at a time. Some sort of mix of a bellowing gorilla and a crying baby. And that's the background noise. When engaged in an activity with them, it resembles a circus. Kids being shot out of cannons to your left, a kid flying around on a trapeze to your right. One is furiously scribbling on a piece of paper than darkening his hands in the graphite right in front of you. When they can go outside they seem to be better at differentiating between study time and play time, but when it all meshes together they can't discern between the two.
On another note, the rain seems to bring down entire Americorps NCCC teams also. Last week was one of the most depressing I've had in a while. It's difficult to pinpoint the exact causes (kids with spring fever was certainly one of them), but my little family of 10 had a rough go of it this week. And of course it was all done secretly and passive aggressively. Every little thing seemed to aggravate everyone. Edgy would be an understatement. In fairness, it can't all be blamed on the rain. This was bound to happen eventually spending so much time with each other. that's the way these Americorps teams work, and that's why they trained us for 2 weeks on team dynamics, etc. For times like this. Too bad i forgot most of the stuff they told me. Also, I learned today that apparently when groups of girls spend a ton of time together, they start to have the same menstrual cycle!? Well, it was last week for my girls. Reminds me of this...
http://blog.syracuse.com/healthfitness/2008/02/having_a_happy_period.html
Other news - The team had been having a lot of issues with our Team Leader. He's just a weird guy and the girls feel very uncomfortable when he is around because he makes a lot of crude, unnecessary jokes. His stories would have you beileve that he is acutally superman, although he doesn't run around in a cape. We've just stopped believing them they are so far fetched. My theory is that he has heard all of these stories from acquaintances in his past (he's 31), and takes them as his own. Apparently he's had something like 30 different jobs, and has screwed his employers out of money numerous times. He's like a compulsive liar, but he lies about stupid shit which he thinks is cool. Anwyways, the team has kind of allied against him, but since none of us have any real authority over one another, it makes getting anything done as a team very difficult. Simple majority rules don't matter, there's too much politics. Right now it has subsided a lot. I talked to our Team Leader and asked him to step up more as a leader, and he has responded extremely well. I think he's growing on everyone else too. We'll see where this goes for the next 6 months.
I finish up at Larchmont this Friday. Really sad, these kids need peopel to stay in their lives for more than 2 months at a time. Just today I consoled a 6th grader who needs to choose by next week whether to stay in Sacramento with his mom or move to Mexico with his Dad (they just recently divorced.) He wants to do both. He's all torn up about it. Not a decision any of us had to make at 11. What do I say to that?
Next Project: Alpaugh, CA. Town of 700. Central part of the state, near Bakersfield. (Google maps that shit.) We are bulding bridges and trails at a national wildlife refuge for 2 months in the morning, and working with kindergarteners in the afternoon. All 10 of us live together in one house. Real World: Alpaugh. Get ready. In light of this, my next post will be dedicated to updating you all on my 8 teammates. Boom.
Let me see, let me see... I'm in Sacramento. I assist teachers with daily duties at an Elementary School called Larchmont. The kids are in bad socioeconomic situations. Ohhh here we go. So apparently there's a "rainy season" in Sactown that goes from late december to late feberuary. Never having experienced a "rainy season" I wasn't totally sure what to expect. here it is: It's between 30-50 degrees every day and it rains. Every day. More accurately, it drizzles every day. We rarely actually get any full-fledged rain (maybe at night, I think I hear rain drops... hard to tell). So every time you go outside without a hat or hoodie you get about 1 drop on the bridge of your nose or forehead every 30 seconds. It's like Chinese water torture. More over, recesses are cancelled at Larchmont, inevitably leading to...
YAHHHHHHHAYAYAYAYHAFHOWEQOEFNEPCONUQAGAYHAYAYAYAAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYAYAYAYAYA
This is the sound that kids make when forced indoors with no physical activity for weeks at a time. Some sort of mix of a bellowing gorilla and a crying baby. And that's the background noise. When engaged in an activity with them, it resembles a circus. Kids being shot out of cannons to your left, a kid flying around on a trapeze to your right. One is furiously scribbling on a piece of paper than darkening his hands in the graphite right in front of you. When they can go outside they seem to be better at differentiating between study time and play time, but when it all meshes together they can't discern between the two.
On another note, the rain seems to bring down entire Americorps NCCC teams also. Last week was one of the most depressing I've had in a while. It's difficult to pinpoint the exact causes (kids with spring fever was certainly one of them), but my little family of 10 had a rough go of it this week. And of course it was all done secretly and passive aggressively. Every little thing seemed to aggravate everyone. Edgy would be an understatement. In fairness, it can't all be blamed on the rain. This was bound to happen eventually spending so much time with each other. that's the way these Americorps teams work, and that's why they trained us for 2 weeks on team dynamics, etc. For times like this. Too bad i forgot most of the stuff they told me. Also, I learned today that apparently when groups of girls spend a ton of time together, they start to have the same menstrual cycle!? Well, it was last week for my girls. Reminds me of this...
http://blog.syracuse.com/healthfitness/2008/02/having_a_happy_period.html
Other news - The team had been having a lot of issues with our Team Leader. He's just a weird guy and the girls feel very uncomfortable when he is around because he makes a lot of crude, unnecessary jokes. His stories would have you beileve that he is acutally superman, although he doesn't run around in a cape. We've just stopped believing them they are so far fetched. My theory is that he has heard all of these stories from acquaintances in his past (he's 31), and takes them as his own. Apparently he's had something like 30 different jobs, and has screwed his employers out of money numerous times. He's like a compulsive liar, but he lies about stupid shit which he thinks is cool. Anwyways, the team has kind of allied against him, but since none of us have any real authority over one another, it makes getting anything done as a team very difficult. Simple majority rules don't matter, there's too much politics. Right now it has subsided a lot. I talked to our Team Leader and asked him to step up more as a leader, and he has responded extremely well. I think he's growing on everyone else too. We'll see where this goes for the next 6 months.
I finish up at Larchmont this Friday. Really sad, these kids need peopel to stay in their lives for more than 2 months at a time. Just today I consoled a 6th grader who needs to choose by next week whether to stay in Sacramento with his mom or move to Mexico with his Dad (they just recently divorced.) He wants to do both. He's all torn up about it. Not a decision any of us had to make at 11. What do I say to that?
Next Project: Alpaugh, CA. Town of 700. Central part of the state, near Bakersfield. (Google maps that shit.) We are bulding bridges and trails at a national wildlife refuge for 2 months in the morning, and working with kindergarteners in the afternoon. All 10 of us live together in one house. Real World: Alpaugh. Get ready. In light of this, my next post will be dedicated to updating you all on my 8 teammates. Boom.
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