Camper Weekend #2

Friday Night

7:32 PM - Camper Ben soils himself. 20 minute clean up ensues. I've never wiped a single butt that many times.

8:21 PM - Me, to Camper Jay: Jay, would you like a S'more?
Jay: YEAAA!
Me: Would you like one of those (pointing at a S'more)?
Jay: ...No...

1:15 AM - Camper Devin's alarm goes off. I get up to escort him to the restroom (he's blind).

3:30 AM - Camper Neil: Dan... I have to go to the bathroom

Neil has cerebral palsy and a rod in his back, rendering him unable to walk. I carry him the 20 feet to the bathroom, plop him down, pull down his pants, wait, put on his pants, carry him back to bed.

4:15 AM - Jay's incessant snoring/grunting wakes up Camper Mark and Camper John. Both are unhappy, but only mutter under their breaths.

6:00 AM - Camper Devin's alarm goes off. I get up to escort him back to the restroom.

Saturday Morning

7:04 AM - Camper Aaron stirs, wakes up, and assumes it's time to get up, but breakfast is at 8:30. He asks me twice in the span of two minutes if he can turn on the lights. I cave in on the second attempt.

7:05 AM - I walk to the bathroom to find half a sloppy turd in the toilet, the other half on the toilet seat. I clean up the hardened mess.


7:10 AM to 8:00 AM - We end wake up with 3 wetted beds and 1 pair of soiled underwear.

11:15 AM - Team Leader John dresses Camper Kenny in Counselor Dennis' clothes on accident after swimming. Chaos ensues as Dennis is showering campers and we can't figure out why there are extra clothes in the locker room.

2:15 PM - Camper Aaron, a chronic thumb-wrestler who turns every high-five into a thumb-locked battle, defeats Camper Jay in a thumb wrestle. The competition lasts 4 seconds, since Jay is not fully functional, and rarely has any idea what's going on.

2:34 PM - Camper Matthew gets hit straight on in the head with a high-arcing basketball while staring up at the rim (he does this for 20 minutes at a time.) Instead of reacting like a normal child, he just stares blankly straight ahead for a couple of seconds before returning to his trance.


4:30 PM - Camper Jay, not totally grasping the game, continues to run around the circle while chasing his goose. He circles it 4 times total before realizing what to do.

6:32 PM - Camper Roarke attempts to eat his excrement after first wipe.

Sunday Morning

9:01 AM - Camper Matthew #2 repeats "tractor", followed by jibberish while staring 6 inches from my face. I continue to feed him as he repeats this for 10 minutes.

12:30 AM - Camper Neil's shoes are nowhere to be found. After a 30 minute camp search, we find them on Camper Matthew #2's feet.