Easter Seals Camp Stand-By-Me

This past weekend inspired one sure thing in my search for a career field: I WILL NOT work with disabled children. Some stuff I say here may be politically incorrect, even offensive. I apologize if it goes too far. I know some people relish the opportunity to handle kids' disabilities, to use every ounce of patience and persuasion available to them so that the kids may enjoy themselves. These human saints will find happiness in their work. I am not one of them.

Camp Stand-By-Me has the best intentions: Give parents of children with disabilities weekends to get some rest in their chaotic lives. In the summer, they can drop their kids off for weeks at a time. It certainly isn't too much to ask of us as Americorps volunteers to handle disabled children for one weekend. Many of my teammates found the work rewarding and, to add a touch of Hollywood, inspiring. I did not chime in to this sentiment. I found it to be an uncomfortable mix of exhausting, depressing, and boring. Exhausting because there's a constant pressure to straddle the line between letting them enjoy their time here and making sure they follow the rules. Depressing because there was no way to communicate with them, to find common ground, and no way to get them to listen to you. Boring because every activity takes 2 to 3 times longer to complete. Let me detail.

I slept in the "older boys" cabin, with 7 campers and 1 other counselor hired by Camp Stand-By-Me. They boys were older than the average, if you hadn't guessed from their cabin name. 1 of them was blind and mute, he needed a wheelchair to get around and required 2 depends at night accompanied with a special absorbent sheet for when he wet the bed. Another spoke only 2 words: Wa-Wa and Beer! (or Beard!? I couldn't tell). He needed someone to hold on to going up and down the hill that makes up Camp Stand-By-Me, something due to his legs not functioning properly. He also would automatically wet the bed, and sometimes deficate in it. Another young man was severely autistic, speaking back to you only what you said to him. He would masturbate in his bed throughout the night. One camper had cerebral palsy, and when needing to pee in the night would have to notify a counselor of his predicament and we would carry him to the toilet. 2 more kids with down syndrome were unrelentingly stubborn, rendering it useless to even try to get them out of bed without physically lifting them up, which required a couple counselors. Sleep was limited to a 6 hours, way better than the 3-4 hours for those posted to the "younger boys" cabin. But the sleep was restless wondering when the next camper would need help in the middle of the night.

Little things like cleaning up their private areas after a bowel movement or urination, feeding them as they drooled and half the food fell to the ground, and persuading them to stay in my sight made the experience unpleasant. The most frustrating part was not being able to understand what they wanted. Many times I had to guess at their intentions and motivations. It's weird to finally be getting a grasp of human nature and social intelligence, only to be put in this situation and feel so useless. I hated the feeling. This was where it got boring. I gave up trying and so had only myself to "hang out" with. I don't blame myself for giving up. I'm not suited for this type of misery. I don't look forward to the next 2 weekends with the campers, early and late May. Then again I'll be positive and it will eventually end. Just hopefully this time I won't be the one fishing turds out of the pool with a pool net.