Phys Ed

I was given the responsibility of conducting a 30 minute Phys Ed class for 6th graders at the conclusion of each Tuesday and Thursday, a task I felt more than ready for. And what sport was I assigned? Soccer! Ahhhhh soccer, the sport I know so much about and love so much for its simplicity. 1 Ball. 2 Goals. Even teams. Use your feet. Put the ball in the goal however you can. I was easin' to a sneezin' with this one.

I planned out how I would methodically teach these miscreants to master the graceful art of soccer. Start with dribbling. Get them some feeling of how far forward they are able to push the ball without losing control. Give them some confidence that they can play the game at its simplest level. Move on to passing. Show how using teammates is beneficial to the overall team goal. Use the instep. Maybe some shooting. Head balls. Short-sided scrimmages. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. These ideas and others converged to teh forefront of my brain. I couldn't wait to start.

Stupid Dan. Nothing's as simple as it ever seems. 3 soccer balls? 3??? And 2 volleyballs to be used as soccer balls? No pinnies? I overlooked 3 simple concepts in my grandiose scheme to instill soccer as a staple at Larchmont Elementary School:

1. I wasn't at a suburban school outfitted with supplies galore. This suburban school was poor.

2. Teaching 50 kids at once is like trying to tame a beehive.

3. I underestimated the discipline it takes to slowly and meticulously learn the skills I had acquired over years of play. My goal was to introduce the kids slowly, to not play any games in the first two weeks in the hopes they wouldn't understand the greater joys of running after and aimlessly kicking a ball. They didn't appreciate this tactic one bit. They knew. Ohhhh did they know how much fun a real soccer game is. The complaining began within the first 10 minutes of cone dribbling. Damn it.

4. The lack of sports structure inherent in Larchmont students that wealthier students obtain from playing at a young age. What I mean by this is that in sports there is a coach. There are teammates. There are opponents. They are all parts to a whole, each with it's own objective. They have meaning. This environment, however, more closely resemebles an exchange floor on Wall Street. There is no real leader (as I should be, as teh "coach"). It isn't a lack of respect, it's more that they are not used to following instructions while outdoors. Outside is just their playpen with no rules. It's more important to them to tell me about how they got pushed than to stop the other team from scoring a goal right in front of them. It's little things such as this that add up to a kind of controlled pandemonium in that they know the boundaries and rules, but not how to best employ them to their (and their teams) advantage.

I can't compare these kids to others, since I have not taught another PE class. I did, however, do a one day stint at a well-organized soccer camp near my home, and it was nothing like this. My dreams of creating future superstars was ruined.

We now stick to playing only 6 on 6. Just let them run around. It's demoralizing, but it's too late in their lives already to change some things. At this stage, it's more important to let them run around and get energy out than try to teach them the skills and structure of excelling at sports.